Out of breath

Yesterday, I had a bit of concern about the timing the move home: was I really fit enough; were the rest of the family ready for me in the absence of my parents? The appeal of my better supported and motorised bed won out against the expert (but often very slow medical expertise.)

An ambulance arrived midday, but when they saw the state of me (unable to bend and short of breadth despite wearing an oxygen mask), they decided it was a 4-person job. They had got away with a 2-person delivery because it was an emergency. I had to wait until 2 teams became available simultaneously. I was lucky and this took just over an hour.

After a lot of debate a strategy for getting me from ambulance to home was agreed. So I took a draft of pain killer and the staff slid me from bed to stretcher. I found I physically could not breathe for this transfer, so I had to hold my breath for probably less than 2 secs. In my weakened state, even with oxygen, I found myself gasping for air. Each breath seemed inadequate to replenish my breath. So I felt certain I would asphyxiate, caused by lack of breath capacity and my lungs giving out.

The team were very solicitous, trying out various stretcher positions, while I became increasingly convinced I would die even if returned to my bed. The doctor was called, nurses wandered in and out making posture suggestions, blood pressure was measured. I snatched answers to questions with breadth I thought I could not spare. The only medical action was to give me a slightly bigger oxygen mask.

I signaled the obvious, that I had given up on the move. So I was transferred back, with me expecting the move could be my last. I made it still gasping, but convinced my lung muscles couldn't last. After a while I began to think I might make It and began to stop trying to take the largest breath possible with each breath. So gasped, but more calmly. this is the position my parents found me, having been rung by my wife. I slowly, very very slowly, began to talk between breathes and conditions slowly returned to normal. My breathes remain shallow.


Late last night, I knew I had problems with my catheter. While it had passed some water, it was becoming increasingly painful to drink more. My bladder was under pressure and couldn't relieve it. I kept being assured I would be the next case, but having taken some pain-killer, it was clear that they hoped it would keep me quiet.
Having complained again about the excruciating pain, I finally got attention and a new catheter. Urine flooded out my bladder, easing pressure on my stomach, including my lungs. Suddenly my breathe capacity increased!

With my catheter fixed could probably have made it home with little problem!

Do I go home now? I don't know what the medics would say to this suggestion. Logically, I think I should stay in. It is risky, even if a large part is due to my over-reaction. I hope that my breathe will improve due to anti-water retention tablets and lowered infection. So I am resigning myself to a boring waiting game.

Delay

The pharmists wenthome by 7pm, leaving a vague message about a porter. Without firm information, they wouldn't make arrangements about late night transport. Medicines appeared 9.45pm. So another night listening to fellow patients snore and expectorate. All the patients have got stuck here longer than they expected.

Back home today?

It is likely I will be home again today. First, more anti-biotics, a blood transfusion to receive and prescription to sort out.

Back in Stepping Hill

I am back in hospital.

I could tell you a number stories of why it was thought necessary or the anxious waits while we wondered if I had been forgotten about. To be selective, over the weekend the District Nurses were concerned about the amount of swelling around groin.

Come Monday, my GP was not responding quickly, so the nurse called an emergency GP. In reviewing my case, the GP found several areas of concern, so I was referred to Stepping Hill. From being referred, it was an 8 hour wait for a bed, much of this time we were uncertain whether anyone was dealing with us.

In summary:
Thu, 15th - comfortable, enjoying the hospital type bed;
Fri, 16th - some discomfort from swelling in groin;
Sat, 17th - District Nurse concerned about swelling;
Sun 18th - increasing concerns;
Mon 19th - local practice suggests phone consultation for Tuesday. District Nurse gets on the case and insists on home consultation today. This led to me being admitted on 22:00. Blood tests and X-rays done overnight.
Tue 20th - some changes in medicine. Catheter drained my bladder.

Early days, but staff are talking about me leaving on Friday. A lot of it depends on getting balances right, it will also depends on my attitude to being in: prompt medical attention vs. better bed and home comforts.

Hospital again?

It was decided in discussion, with the nurse, that I may be suffering from water retention. The symptoms are not fully clear, so the District Nurse contacted the emergency GP (my usual GP being on leave).

The GP reviewed my case and decided that there were a few other items of higher priority that ought to be dealt with first, in priority order:

the high potassium levels - (this occurred only once, but would be particularly big problem if it returned and;
• 2nd item - (I've forgotten what it is); and finally,
• the original worry of blocked pipes.

So the plan is to get me into hospital so a series of tests can be done so I can be treated appropriately.

Pain largely under control

Comfort seems to be coming together. I have a hospital style of bed, which allows me to adjust to comfortale postions or ease me out of ed. The mattress is the ripple type. Which means it is constantly adjusting slightly to prevent pressure sores. It was a bit odd to start with, but now I like it.

Perhaps most fun of all, is that it is possible to place the laptop in a reasonably comfortably position. So emails and and blogging are practical again.

I am not getting out much. I had a trip to the hospital on Monday. On Tuesday we went out for a drive, to see how much fun that would be. It was a scenic drive to a car park the The Romper. To be honest, the fun of the drive, just about compensated for the being shaken around in a car.

I still look forward to visiting Underground Stockport exhibition (perhaps waiting for the final phase of Stockport Story to open as well.

I am in for visitors, though I am well booked-up at them moment. Call me or Lan if you want to come over. I think 3 March is my first available date.

Paul is in Vietnam at the moment. I think I feels a bit guilty to not be here adding suport but Lan and I made it quite clear to him that he should go. Paul phones every day and it gives Lan a great boost to hear the daily updates. Today is Tet (VN New Year) and Paul was interviewd for TV, because he was one of the first people to take a Ha Long Bay ride this Lunar Year. I also enjoy Paul's calls. It makes me think how excellent it would be if I could take a fews hours out of convalescing and install myself at a bar in Saigon, or any number of VN locations.

It is now someweeks since I had chemo. If I had insisted, I could have had chemo last Monday. But I now have more respect for the treatment. I don't want a blast of Chemo if all it means is another 2 weeks in hospital. Of course, no one knows if I would suffer as much the second time around, but we have agreed I need a couple of weeks recuperation before further chemo is sensible.

Back at home

I have been home since February 07. I haven't managed to make or take the time the time to post until now. I appreciate that my silence will have been frustrating for readers, as it has been for me.

I will post some more soon, once I have read your emails, assuming I don't get too weary again.

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In the end it was decided for me to go home. There were some risks. The infection (cellulitus) wasn't beaten yet and blood clots remain a risk. On the other hand I am avoiding a whole host of possible hospital infections and the tedium of the hospital.


My hospital 'room' was described by one nurse as a cupboard, but at least it gave me some privacy. I don't know what most of the patients on my ward were there for and to what extent it was there medication which was to blame, but it was a noisy and disturbed wing. The ward door was kept locked to stop patients escaping. This didn't stop them trying every hour or so. Poor chaps were bed blocked. Neither Council nor family could provide them with housing in time, so they were practically imprissoned, with no one to appeal to.

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On the otherhand hospital could be relatively tranquil and organised compared to home. So I hesitate to invite visitors. Can I suggest you talk to Lan and my parents. If I am fit at the time, then I will join in.

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I am going to look at the Stockporrt Heritage blog now. To be honest, it is more fun.

Out tonight

I am currentl waiting for my prescription, but once that is done am off home.

Several people have expressed a wish to see me. I welcome seeing them, but give me and my family a chance to get organised. So leave it until after this weekend. (Gitta, Leslie helen, you remain welcome. If I am not strong enough then I will keep out of the way.